[Editor: This poem, by Barcroft H. Boake, was published in The Bulletin (Sydney, NSW), 3 December 1892.]
Our Visitor.
There’s a fellow on the station
(He dropped in on a call,
Just casually — to stay a pleasant week),
He’s a banker’s near relation,
Strangely built, and very tall,
Not altogether destitute of cheek;
He’s a decent judge of whisky,
And the hardest-working youth
Who ever played at polo on a cob;
His anecdotes are risky,
And to tell the honest truth
He’s waiting here until he gets a job.
He’s waiting, as I mention,
And whene’er he says his prayers,
Which he doesn’t do as frequently as some,
I fear that his intention
Isn’t quite as good as theirs —
For he prays to God the work may never come.
He marches with the banner
Of the noble unemployed,
He mixes with the fashionable mob,
But while he’s got a tanner
He scorns to be decoyed
Where there’s any chance that he may get a job.
He’s an excellent musician,
And the song that suits him best,
“Old Stumpy,” is a masterpiece of art;
’Tis a splendid composition
As he chucks it off his chest,
Though there’s something of a hitch about the start.
He’s an artist, too, in colours,
For he painted up the boat.
You wonder — but he did, so help me bob,
And all the champion scullers,
When once he gets afloat,
Couldn’t catch him — if they offered him a job.
He’s very unpretending,
Most affable and kind,
He’ll take a whisky any time it suits;
Extremely condescending,
He really does not mind,
He’ll even, when it’s muddy, wear your boots.
Some think he isn’t clever,
But it’s my distinct belief
That there’s much more than they fancy in his nob.
But he’s travelling on the “never”
And will surely die of grief
On the day when he’s forced to take a job.
Barcroft H. Boake.
Source:
The Bulletin (Sydney, NSW), 3 December 1892, p. 17, column 2
Also published in:
Australia (Sydney, NSW), 11 July 1907, p. 26 [entitled “The Day When a Fellow Gets a Job”]
The Observer (Adelaide, SA), 27 July 1907, p. 53 [reprinted from Australia, 11 July 1907; entitled “The Day When a Fellow Gets a Job”]
Saturday’s Journal (Adelaide, SA), 27 July 1907, p. 6 (Late Edition) [the Saturday issue of the Evening Journal; reprinted from Australia, 11 July 1907; entitled “The Day When a Fellow Gets a Job”]
Editor’s notes:
This poem, when published in Australia (11 July 1907), a magazine edited by A. G. Stephens, was entitled “The Day When a Fellow Gets a Job”, the introduction to which stated that “The following verses by the lamented Barcroft Boake appear now, it is believed, for the first time in print”, although, as it turns out, that belief was incorrect.
There were various differences between the versions published in The Bulletin (3 December 1892) and in Australia (11 July 1907), mostly regarding punctuation; however, there were four particular differences which should be noted (albeit two of them are minor differences, and the other two are only slightly significant):
“God the” vs. “Heaven”:
1892: For he prays to God the work may never come.
1907: For he prays to Heaven work will never come.
“with” vs. “’neath”:
1892: He marches with the banner
1907: He marches ’neath the banner
“does not” vs. “does n’t”:
1892: He really does not mind,
1907: He really does n’t mind,
“he’s” vs. “he is”:
1892: On the day when he’s forced to take a job.
1907: On the day when he is forced to take a job.
never = “the Never Never”; remote and isolated sparsely-inhabited desert country in Australia
nob = (also spelt: knob) (slang) head
so help me bob = a euphemism for “So help me God” (an oath that one will fulfill a promise, or that one is speaking the truth); from the tradition of avoiding blasphemy and the misuse of sacred words, by substituting words which are similar in formation, nature, sound, or style (especially those which begin with the same initial letter; exclamatory oaths that use such a substitution for “God” include “by George”, “good golly”, “oh my gosh”, and “good grief”)
station = a large rural holding used for raising livestock, usually sheep or cattle (a pastoral property); can also refer to the principal homestead and main business centre of a pastoral property
See: “Station (Australian agriculture)”, Wikipedia
tanner = (slang) a sixpence (can also refer to: someone whose profession is to tan animal hides or leather)
’tis = (archaic) a contraction of “it is”
whene’er = (vernacular) an archaic contraction of “whenever”
My father, born in Sydney in the second decade of last century, was a mild man who never swore. Only in the rare event of being angry would he exclaim, “So help me Bob!” I never heard anyone else say this and assumed – until very recently – it was just his idiosyncratic use of language.
Here is a list of articles and poems that may be of interest to you – giving examples of the phrase “so help me Bob”, from the 1840s to the 1940s: https://trove.nla.gov.au/list/217942