[Editor: This poem was published in “The Moving Picture Show” section of The Sun (Sydney, NSW), 17 September 1921.]
Ode to 3,000,000,000,000 Roubles
Owing to the high cost of living the Soviet has raised the wages of workmen to 300,000 roubles a month, and of officials to 140,000 roubles monthly.
Ah, land of magnificent money,
Abode of the rouble run mad,
Where groats are financially funny,
And farthings considered a fad —
What joy to encounter the legions
Of cash that your Soviet pays,
And rest in those Bolshevik regions
Of half-an-hour days!
What, Capital vanished for ever?
Free living, free loving, free beer,
No working for wages whatever,
And 3,000,000 roubles a year
Lead, lead me to Russia, nor tarry
O Pankhurst! Thy words to repeat —
And lend me a waggon to carry
Small change in the street!
I tremble lest someone discovers
(Ere I can arrange for my berth)
This Eden of indigent lovers,
This corner of Heaven on earth;
For theatres and dances and dinners
Appear to be fleabites, indeed,
When roubles fall thicker than sinners
On mortals in need.
Where coins are so large and so many,
Who minds if the currency rips?
At 9000 roubles the penny,
One rouble will do for all tips,
And who’d grudge the price of their capture
For papers, ’phones, ferries and fares,
When roubles abound, and (oh, rapture!)
We’re all millionaires!
Source:
The Sun (Sydney, NSW), 17 September 1921, p. 4 (Final Sporting edition)
Editor’s notes:
berth = a bed or sleeping place in a boat, train, or other vessel (also: an allotted place for a ship or a boat to stay, especially at a wharf or a dock)
Bolshevik = a type of Communist (the term has also been used in a wider sense to refer to any Communist); a supporter of a faction of Communism which was founded by Vladimir Lenin (the ideology of the Bolsheviks is referred to as Bolshevism; although that term has also been used in a wider sense to refer to Communism in general)
See: “Bolsheviks”, Wikipedia
Eden = a place or situation which is regarded as a paradise; the Garden of Eden, mentioned in the Bible
ere = (archaic) before (from the Middle English “er”, itself from the Old English “aer”, meaning early or soon)
farthing = a coin equivalent to one-quarter of a penny (the name “farthing” comes from the Anglo-Saxon “feorthing”, or “fourthling”); whilst farthings were not minted in Australia, they were used as units of monetary measurement, and British farthings could be used in Australia (“farthing” may also refer to something of little value)
fleabite = something which causes a minor annoyance, tiny discomfort, or slight inconvenience; something of little concern; an injury which is of little or trifling consequence; a flea bite; a mark or spot on the skin caused by the bite of a flea
groat = a small or trifling amount of money; an English silver coin (now discontinued) which was worth four pennies (groats were also issued in Ireland, Scotland, British Guiana, and the British West Indies)
See: “Groat (coin)”, Wikipedia
indigent = poor; impoverished
Pankhurst = Adela Constantia Mary Pankhurst (1885-1961), a suffragette and political activist; she was born in Manchester (England) in1885, was active with the Women’s Social and Political Union (a suffragette organisation), came to Australia in 1914, married Thomas Walsh in 1917 (becoming Adela Walsh), was a founding member of the Communist Party of Australia in 1920, then (after becoming disillusioned with Communism) founded the Australian Women’s Guild of Empire (an anti-Communist organisation) in 1927, became a founding member of the Australia First Movement in 1941, and died in Wahroonga (NSW) in 1961; her mother (Emmeline Pankhurst), and her sisters (Christabel and Sylvia) were also suffragettes (Sylvia was also involved in the Communist movement in England)
See: 1) Susan Hogan “Pankhurst, Adela Constantia (1885–1961)”, Australian Dictionary of Biography
2) “Adela Pankhurst”, Wikipedia
3) “Emmeline Pankhurst”, Wikipedia
4) “Christabel Pankhurst”, Wikipedia
5) “Sylvia_Pankhurst”, Wikipedia
penny = a penny was a unit of British-style currency (12 pennies were worth a shilling, 240 pennies were worth a pound); pennies, shillings, and pounds were used in Australia, until the decimalisation of the currency in 1966 (the decimal monetary equivalent of a penny was approximately 0.833 cents, with sixpence coins being used as equivalent to five-cent coins during the changeover period; alternatively, one cent was worth 1.2 pennies)
rip = a reference to badness or mediocrity; something which has little or no value; something or someone of little worth (i.e. worthless); a ripoff (to be “ripped off” is to be over-charged or swindled)
rouble = (also spelt: ruble) a monetary unit used in Belarus, Russia, the Soviet Union (1922-1991), and some other states in Eastern Europe (a rouble is comprised of 100 kopecks)
See: “Ruble”, Wikipedia
Soviet = the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR), also known as Soviet Russia, the Soviet Union, Communist Russia, or CCCP (the abbreviation of the country’s name in Russian); a citizen of the USSR; of or relating to the USSR; a workers’ council; a revolutionary council (especially in Russia, prior to the Russian Revolution in 1917); an elected council (at local, regional, republic, and country levels) in the USSR
See: “Soviet Union”, Wikipedia
waggon = an archaic spelling of “wagon”
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