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“If they bet” [poem by Reggie the Wroughter, 20 December 1918]

22 January 2022 · Leave a Comment

[Editor: This poem was published in The Call & W.A. Sportsman (Perth, WA), 20 December 1918.]

“If they bet.”

A punter’s plaint.

(By “Reggie the Wroughter.”)

For years I’ve follered ’orses,
And I get
Stone morals on most courses
Fine or wet.
But of all the back-chat bleary
That would make a wowser beery
Is that stipulation dreary —
“If they bet!”

You will ’ear the old ’eads bray it,
When they’ve met,
You will ’ear each jockster say it
Of ’is pet;
And every bloke that meets you,
Ev’ry bosom pal that treats you
With an “’ome-and-dried ’un” greets you —
“If they bet!”

On the Terrace you will ’ear it
(If you’re let),
For they’re frightened you might queer it
If you get
A chance to nab the market —
For a nark can easy nark it,
So they want no fools to bark it —
If they bet!

At the Cup they’ll surely chat you,
Fine or wet;
All the whisp’rers will be at you
For their pet.
But my bit of good advice is,
Never mind the market prices,
Back the nag whose form entices —
If you bet!
For the shrewdest oftimes blunder,
And the cutest heads go under —
When they bet!



Source:
The Call & W.A. Sportsman (Perth, WA), 20 December 1918, p. 5

Editor’s notes:
cute = clever, cunning, shrewd, especially in a self-serving or underhanded manner (derived from “acute”) (distinct from the modern meaning of “cute” as pretty or attractive in a pleasant or endearing way)

’ead = (vernacular) head

’ear = (vernacular) hear

ev’ry = (vernacular) every

foller = (vernacular) follow

home-and-dried = sure of success, an achievement, or a win; sure of gaining safety (also rendered as “home and dry”, “home free”)

’is = (vernacular) his

jockster = (slang) jockey

nag = (slang) horse; can also have a negative meaning, referring to a horse which is regarded as inferior or worthless

nark = [1] annoy, irritate, upset (can also refer to: an informer, especially a police informer; stool pigeon, spy; an annoying person; to thwart or upset someone’s plans)

nark = [2] someone who is annoying, irritating, impolite; a whinger, a spoil-sport

oftimes = an alternative spelling of “ofttimes”: oftentimes, often, on many occasions; frequently, repeatedly (from Old English, “oft” meaning “often” or “frequently”)

’ome = (vernacular) home

plaint = complaint, protest; lamentation, sad cry, wail; a legal complaint seeking redress

queer = ruin, spoil; thwart; to spoil someone’s chance, opportunity, or situation (as used in the phrase “to queer his pitch”); to put someone into a bad, disadvantageous, hopeless, or negative position or situation (can also refer to: feeling or being ill; something odd or strange; a homosexual)

’un = (vernacular) one (plural: ’uns) (may be spelt with or without an apostrophe)

whisp’rer = (vernacular) whisperer

wowser = someone who is puritanical, bigoted, censorious, or overly moralistic, particularly those who aim to force their morals upon others (in the past, the word was especially applied to temperance campaigners)

[Editor: Changed “Ev ’ry bosom pal” to “Ev’ry bosom pal”.]

Filed Under: poetry Tagged With: horse racing, poem, Reggie the Wroughter (author), SourceTrove, year1918

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