[Editor: This poem by F. H. Legg was published in The ABC Weekly (Sydney, NSW), 12 September 1942 (during the Second World War).]
Desert Madness
A skit on the various pronunciation of Libyan place-names. The writer, a sergeant in the A.I.F., is well-known to listeners as one of the early-morning announcers from Adelaide.
I heard tell of a Nazi
(In Benghazi)
Who said he’d go crazy
in Benghazi.
I wonder has he
In Benghazi?
It’s a long way on foot, so
They say to Capuzzo;
But there’s lots of loot, so
Let’s all go to Capuzzo!
But I’ve got corns … Tut-tut … so
I’ll ne’er see Capuzzo.
I wonder can Jack Tar see
Barce?
Or is it only by a march he
Can reach Barce?
Oh, isn’t it a farce
Pronouncing Barce?
Have you heard of El Adem,
Madam?
Or Bug-bug?
Yes, I’ve had ‘em,
Madam,
When I dug!
Have you heard of the baker
From Cyrenaica,
Who went on a beano
In Fort Pilastrino?
He got hardier and hardier
With friends from Bardia,
And then took to rum
In Sollum.
When brought to book
In a gaol at Tobruk
(Or in a large room
At Sollum),
Said the judge: “This is Libya!
You can stay in the crib ’ere,
Or do some hard yacca
on the road to Baracca.
That’ll teach you, my buck,
To carouse in Tobruk!”
“Oh, but,” cried the slacker,
(From Cyrenaica),
“It’s all a mistake!
Oh, give us a break!
For to Fort Pilastrino
I’ve never, never been, no!”
Was there e’er such a liar,
From Sollum to Bardia?
And so, to the Perimeter
At dawn he was led,
And with a big scimitar
They cut off his head!
— Sgt. F. H. Legg.
Source:
The ABC weekly (Sydney, NSW), 12 September 1942, p. 4
Editor’s notes:
A.I.F. = Australian Imperial Force; the First Australian Imperial Force was created in 1914 to fight in World War One, the Second Australian Imperial Force was created in 1939 to fight in World War Two
beano = party, celebration (plural, “beanos”); from “beanfeast”, a tradition in Britain of an annual dinner given for staff by their employers, which customarily included a dish of beans and bacon as an integral part of the occasion
buck = a young man; an adventurous, high-spirited, or impetuous young man; an adult male of several species, including antelope, deer, reindeer, hare, rabbit, or kangaroo; (American, dated) an adult male of African or American Indian ethnicity; (American, military slang) someone of low rank (e.g. a buck private); (slang) a dollar; (slang) money in general (e.g. to make a quick buck)
crib = bed; a place to sleep; home, place of residence; from “crib”, referring to a bed for a baby or small child (an enclosed bed with high sides)
e’er = (vernacular) an archaic contraction of “ever”
’ere = (vernacular) here
yacca = work (also spelt “yacka”, “yacker”, “yakka”, “yakker”)
Jack Tar = a sailor, especially a seamen of the British Merchant Navy or Royal Navy, usually regarding general sailors rather than officers (also rendered as “Jacktar”, “Jack-tar”, or “Tar”; can be spelt with or without capitalisation)
ne’er = (vernacular) an archaic contraction of “never”
scimitar = a curved sword (especially one of Arab, Middle Eastern, or Persian design)
slacker = someone who is lazy; someone who avoids, or tries to avoid, work; a procrastinator; someone who is an underachiever; someone who is considered to have no direction in life; someone who avoids, or tries to avoid, military service
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