Getting his own back [8 March 1918]

[Editor: A humourous tale published in Aussie: The Australian Soldiers’ Magazine, no. 3, 8 March 1918.]

Getting his own back.

Two Aussies on leave from France were occupying a first-class non-smoking compartment of an English train, when an irascible old bloke blew in.

The old kill-joy got nasty because one of the Aussies was smoking, and without any preliminary diplomatic negotiations handed the cigar-puffer an ultimatum that he would have him removed from the compartment if he didn’t stop smoking. This annoyed the Aussie, and he counter-attacked behind a strong smoke barrage.

At the next station, Mr. Killjoy called a porter and read out the Aussie’s crime sheet: “This man is smoking in a non-smoking compartment.” He demanded that the Aussie should be removed. The porter told the Aussie that he would either have to stop smoking or stop travelling in the non-smoker.

“Well, I plead guilty to smoking in a non-smoker,” said the Aussie, “but this old nark has no kick coming against me. He’s travelling first on a second-class ticket!” The porter demanded old Killjoy’s ticket and found that the Aussie’s statement was correct. Exit old Killjoy.

“How did you know he was travelling wrong class?” asked the second Aussie, later. “Oh, I saw the ticket sticking out of his vest pocket,” replied the other, between puffs, “and it was the same colour as my own.”

— G. D. Davy.

Aussie: The Australian Soldiers’ Magazine, no. 3, 8 March 1918, page 10

[Editor: The original text has been separated into paragraphs.]

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