[Editor: This poem by Louisa Lawson was published in “The Lonely Crossing” and Other Poems (1905).]
A Dream.
Last night as I lay on my bed
I dreamed a strange, sad dream.
The pathway that I travelled led
Along a sunlit stream
That mirrored, as it swept along,
The oaks that o’er it bent;
And with their weird, tuneless song,
Its own sweet cadence blent.
All things were bathed in golden light,
And flowers from many a nook
Bent down to kiss their faces bright
Reflected in the brook.
A wondrous wealth of dark blue sky
Seemed fallen at my feet,
And o’er its surface silently
There sailed a snowy fleet
Of fleecy clouds that gliding went
Toward a bank beyond
A velvet sward, all thickly sprent
With star-like flower and frond.
Reclining there I saw a form
I had not seen for years;
And o’er me passed a sudden storm
Of mingled hopes and fears.
He quickly rose and came to me,
And said, “Shall we be friends?
And oh, believe, the change in thee
My heart with sorrow rends!”
I answered, “Why dost thou desire
To open wounds half healed,
And fan to flame a dying fire
Deep in my sad heart sealed?
“Sad heart,” I said, “no longer sad,
For I have found a balm
For every sorrow that I had,
For every storm a calm.
“I gave thee honour, due by right
Unto a jealous God,
And in thy causeless, sudden flight
I kissed His chastening rod.
“Hast thou not blasted on my way
Each bud with deadly blight,
And taken from my life each ray
That made my girlhood bright?
“Why dost thou come to spoil my peace?
Wilt thou no mercy show?
I pray this cruel trifling cease;
In quiet let me go!”
“Yes, false to thee, dear girl, I seemed;
My thoughtlessness I rue.
Thy constant love too cold I deemed —
The wrong I’d fain undo.
“Forgive, and, as a day-star bright,
Beam on me when forgiven;
And turn my wayward thoughts aright
Like thine, from earth to heaven!”
I turned to gaze upon the stream
Where it had rippled by;
’Twas gone. Ah me! deluding dream!
Nor friend of old was nigh.
Then o’er me did rebellion steal;
The fight was lost, not won.
Nor could I say, with righteous zeal
“My God, Thy Will be done.”
Source:
Louisa Lawson, “The Lonely Crossing” and Other Poems, Sydney: Dawn Office, [1905], pp. 55-58
Editor’s notes:
aright = in the correct way; correctly, properly, rightly
blent = blended (past tense of “blend”)
dost = (archaic) do
fain = happily or gladly; ready or willing; obliged or compelled
hast = (archaic) have
nigh = near, close, especially regarding time or place (e.g. “the time was nigh”); approaching, nearly; almost
o’er = (archaic) over (pronounced the same as “oar”, “or”, and “ore”)
pray = to ask, request; to ask for assistance, benefit, or favour; to ask or implore, especially in a humble or polite manner (e.g. “Do not serve me so, I pray”; “I pray thee remember, I have done thee worthy service”; “show kindness, I pray thee”); in older times “pray” was used to accompany a polite request (similar in function to the phrase “I ask you kindly”), similar to how the word “please” is used in modern times (e.g. “pray, tell me why…”)
rend = to tear or break in a violent manner
sprent = (archaic) sprinkled, spattered; can also mean to jump, leap, or spring forward
sward = a lawn or meadow; land covered with grass
thee = (archaic) you
thine = (archaic) your; yours
thou = (archaic) you
thy = (archaic) your
’twas = (archaic) a contraction of “it was”
wilt = (archaic) will
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