A German Lament [poem by Bendee]

[Editor: This poem by Bendee was published in The Bulletin Reciter, 1901.]

A German Lament.

I vas doin’ tam fine shplendid
Buyin’ sheepskins, vool, und drippin,
Und my cart-shpring mid ole Roany —
Veil, I lofe dem like mein vrow ;
Now dot lofe affair ish ended,
Und mein face von’t shtop from shlippin’
Ven I dinks apout dot pony
Und dot cart-shpring und mein cow.

Duyfel turn dot tarn cow over
Mit her tail-board on he’s fender —
If I tole her fifty tousand
Times I tole her vonce, to shdop
Feedin’ alvays on dot clover,
But, like all dot female gender,
She must vant to know de “hows” and
“Vhys” ; and so she bust up — pop !

Vell, I harness up mein vaggon —
For dot cow require some shiftin’,
Und she die close up mein kitchen —
Den I makes mein vhip-stock crack,
Und dot cow pehind comes draggin’ ;
Roany up hill do some liftin’,
Und he sit back in de pritchin’
Comin’ down de saddle track.

Soon dot funeral brocession,
Ve comes vindin’ down de diggin’s
Till I find a hole dot do me
For a grave-yart for mein cow.
Pretty kvick I take bossession
Of dot mine-shaft sunked by Higgins,
Und I gee mein horse-cart to me —
Vell, I haf no horse-cart now.

“Goodbye, Taisy!” und she’s splashin’
Forty feet down mit de vater ;
But dot rope I not untie it,
Und she drag mein horse-cart in —
Cart-shpring, Roany — all goes crashin’
Down mid tamful noise and schlaughter,
Und den ev’ryding ’s so quiet
Dot you could pick up a pin !


A.G. Stephens (editor). The Bulletin Reciter: A Collection of Verses for Recitation from “The Bulletin” [1880-1901], The Bulletin Newspaper Company, Sydney, 1902 [first published 1901], pages 126-128

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